calling all angels

A man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries

And high above him you hear the church bells start to ring.

The heaviness, the heaviness of it settles in,

A mother starts to sing.

Then it's one foot then the other as you step along the road

Steppin' on the road,

how much weight, how much weight?

And it's how long and how far and how many times,

Oh, before it's too late?

Calling all angels, Calling all angels.

Walk me through this one, don't leave me alone.

Calling all angels, Calling all angels.

We're trying, we're hoping, but we're not sure how...

Oh and every day you gaze upon the sunset

With such love and intensity.

Why it's almost as if, if you could only crack the code

You'd finally understand what this all means.

Oh but if you could, do you think you would

Have traded all the pain and suffering?

Oh, but then you would've missed the beauty of the light upon this earth

And the sweetness of the leaving.

Calling all angels, Calling all angels!

Walk me through this one, don't leave me alone

Calling all angels, calling all angels,

We're trying, we're hoping but we're not sure...

Calling all angels (call all angels)

Calling all angels (call all angels)

Walk me through this one

Don't leave me alone.

Calling all angels, Calling all angels

We're trying, we're hoping, we're hurting, we're loving

We're crying, we're calling,

But we're not sure how this goes.

-Jane Morgan

DISCO SKATING!

Tis what I did all high school. Every weekend. I became rather good. A coach approached me and asked me t' couples disco roller skate with Jared. We ended up competin' in competitions. We won state championship. It didn't mean much though... since no one disco skates anymore.

Let it be known that me Jared be incredible in every aspect o' t' word. Hot, talented, brilliant, and t' most down-to-earth chap ever. I don't know anyone quite as good natured as this kid.

He was in two different roller-skatin' commercials last summer. And a group o' me skatin' buddies were able t' be sponsored t' skate across America. They started on t' east coast in New York and ended up on t' west coast in California. It took them 3-4 months. These sprogs be die hard. And so be I.

There be absolutely nothin' like it. Ohhh... t' funkiness! Gives me hot pants!

Cathy

Cathy: "I love you.... oh, come here..."

me: "Ahh... hug."

Cathy: "I love you sweetheart. I love you so much. No, I really do. I love you."

33 years old. Full of confidence. She has gorgeous gorgeous hair. Dark, thick, curly locks. Big dark eyes. Very pretty face. She also has Cerebral Palsy. Her wheel chair is more a part of her body than her legs or arms. She can use her walker to do an incredibly ungraceful shuffle for about 7 feet. she can stand for about 3 minutes - with her walker. She has limited use of one hand and a bit more in the other.

She is an amazing person. She wants to change the world. She can be wonderful, and, like the rest of us, at times, she can be awful. Pat, her other Nurse, called in her 'Two Weeks Notice' yesterday. Cathy raged on her last night.

I serve Cathy with all the sincerity I can muster. I enjoy pretending like she is my professor. I want to learn all I can in the time I have with her. I ask many questions. And I give her the respect she so desperately wants. This tactic works well with most people. She opens right up and does a rather impressive job returning the favor- most of the time.

She tries. But my oh my - she can say the most aweful things to me. I'm more frustrated by our lack of progress that her words.

I know she is somewhat unaware of how she sounds, so I've been working with her on it. My goal is to teach and be taught in the midst of doing my job. I want to maximize my time with her.

When I am very hurt, I simply remind myself that I'm able to stand, walk, run, dance.... and not only that, but I have a tall, strong, beautiful body, a mind, and a great deal of passion... And much much more. So I transfer all of my bitterness to feelings of, "Hey! I'm the shis!" (I then remind myself that I more humble than anyone I've ever known. lol).

I give positive reinforcement with every effort she makes. I maintain consistency and I feel that she is learning from it. And as we become better acquainted, her respect for me and more importantly, all humanity, deepens. As it did today.

This morning she said, "I'm so happy that you are enlightened. No one understands. Every one else is ignorant to what I go through."

I wanted to reply, "Hon, I will never understand you, unless I were to become disabled. What has happened today, is that you, for the first time in your life, have better understood the situation you are in. As long as we're human, we will all be horribly faulty. What you've realized is that you have the power to comprehend your circumstance and then from this point you can choose your attitude- or your reality."

We're getting somewhere. I hope.

speaking of autumn

Speaking of autumn... I saw an autumn day today. Oh, it was glorious to behold my brothers and sisters! In fact I've beheld many an autumn day as of late.

The air that surrounds me has an incredible cogent freshness- same feeling I get when I'm stepping out of the shower. Tis so shocking that I, without fail, breath in deeply and utter (utter or shout) some illustrious word every single time I step out the door.

And contrary to popular belief, trees are, in fact, unequalled in every regard- unless compared to animal life. But they are the most beautiful of all plant life. It is quite wonderful that their leaves change to red, orange, and yellow, before surrendering to brown. I'm happy that they don't go from green to black. That would suck! But Mike would disagree- he would like it if all leaves were black all the time... black is his favorite color.

Leaves fall. And I'm very happy they don't weigh as much as Mike, or any other guy for that matter, or they would fall at a much faster rate- so its quite nice that leaves are light as feathers. Its nice that they are light, not only because they look like they are dancing their way to the ground, but because if they did weigh as much as Mike, they would damage ALL of our precious Stuff.

I'm lucky to have the ability to soak up the beauty of these days. I bought some autumn juice and used my syringe from work and I literally pump that stuff into my very life blood.

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Albert Einstein quotes-

"The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible. "

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."

"...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."

"When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. that's relativity."

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. "

"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. "

"Truth is what stands the test of experience. "