maintaining a healthy level of insanity
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car WithSunglasses on and point aHair Dryer At Passing Cars to see if they Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask IfThey Want Fries withThat.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It"In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten OverTheir Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "ForSmuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat witha serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don'tRhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area AndPlay tropical Sounds AllDay.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their PartyBecause You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your WrestlingName, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!,I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To TheEconomy, We Are Going ToHave To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
posted by Sealegs at 3:29 PM
10 Comments:
When walking through a crowded department store, take any cart that has been left unattended. Make sure that the one you left in exchange is filled with condoms, KY Jelly and Sir Mixalot CDs.
lol! oh how i miss shopping with thee.
When arriving at 'the office' act as if you are an SAS trained killer. Stalk people and talk into your watch, when leaving the office. Exit via a window!
Or, my favourite is to go into the toilet and scream erotic noises at the top of my lungs. I love it.
I burst into song...in accordance with the prophecy.
admin: thats hilarious. i'll be sure to add that.
mister underhill: I think it is good that you are already incorporating this list into your every day language.
And, just to note, i am known to carry daggers between my teeth. After all, it IS the 21st century... self defense you know.
remove everything from your desk, place it on the floor, put on a silk nightgown, and eat rice.
Those were hilarious
Oh, serveral of these have been regulars for me for some time.
N and I used to go through the mall walking like robots the whole time we were shopping, and that was a lot of fun. I was extremely disappointed to see that in general, people completely ignored us, though.
hmmm.
you're getting prolific.
and good!
luck with the dancing, that is.
skating, even...:)
thanks jonny. ;)
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