20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car WithSunglasses on and point aHair Dryer At Passing Cars to see if they Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask IfThey Want Fries withThat.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It"In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten OverTheir Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "ForSmuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat witha serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don'tRhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area AndPlay tropical Sounds AllDay.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their PartyBecause You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your WrestlingName, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!,I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To TheEconomy, We Are Going ToHave To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......